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Holding Grief & Joy: The Duality of Life After Loss

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Grief and joy. Love and loss. It’s easy to think of them as opposites—forces that cannot coexist. But the truth is, they don’t cancel each other out. They don’t take turns. Instead, they live side by side. Sometimes, they are present in the same breath. Sometimes, in the same moment. Learning to hold both grief and joy is one of the hardest lessons we face, but it’s also one of the most important. I’ve lived this duality every day since losing my daughter, Alivia. Since losing my parents. Since realizing that grief isn’t something that fades—it’s something that integrates into who we are, something we learn to live with. I think about how I can laugh with my children, soak in their joy, and still feel the ache of the ones who are missing. I think about how a song can bring me comfort and devastation all at once, how a simple, everyday moment—watching a mother and daughter shopping together—can bring me to my knees because I will never have that again. That’s the thing about grief—it...
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One Year of Healing Hearts: A Journey of Grief, Love, and Holding Space

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 One year ago, I sat down, took a deep breath, and hit record. I wasn’t sure what would come of it—if anyone would listen, if my voice would shake, if this space would become what I hoped it could be. But I knew one thing: grief needed a place to exist without apology. I started Healing Hearts Podcast because I know what it feels like to grieve in a world that moves too fast, that doesn’t always know what to do with loss. I know what it’s like to hold a love so big for someone who isn’t here. To feel the weight of an empty space at the table, the ache of unspoken memories, the way time keeps moving forward when your heart is still stuck in a moment that changed everything. I didn’t want to create a podcast full of answers—because the truth is, grief doesn’t have them. I just wanted a space where we could be honest about it. Where we could say their names, share their stories, and admit that healing is messy, non-linear, and sometimes, just really, really hard. And now, a year l...
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It Is Well With My Soul—Even When It Doesn’t Feel That Way

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There are certain songs that just seem to weave themselves into your life, whether you expect them to or not. It Is Well with My Soul is one of those songs for me. It's a hymn that's followed me through grief, heartache, and those moments where the pain of loss feels overwhelming, yet somehow, there's a quiet peace alongside it. The first time I heard this hymn was at my nephew’s funeral. The day was already impossible to process, but when the music started, I felt something in the air shift. The words weren’t just being sung; they were wrapping around me, like a blanket of comfort in the middle of the storm. But I’ll be honest, I also felt conflicted. How could my soul ever be well again? How could I sing those words when everything in my heart was aching? "When peace like a river attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, It is well, it is well with my soul." At the time, I had no idea about the backsto...
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How Many Children Do You Have?

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This simple question has always carried so much weight for me. It’s a question that most parents answer easily, without hesitation. But for those of us who have lost a child, it’s never quite that simple. The first time I was asked, it was shortly after Alivia was born and died. In that moment, grief and fear collided, and I denied her existence. I told the person asking that I had no children. The second those words left my mouth, my heart shattered. I returned to my car and sobbed, feeling like I had failed my sweet girl. That day, I made a vow—I would never deny Alivia again. She is my daughter. She made me a mother. Over the years, answering this question has become easier, though I’ve learned to navigate it differently depending on who is asking and the situation I am in. Some people can hold space for grief, while others are unsure how to respond. Sometimes, I share openly. Other times, I keep it brief. There’s no perfect way to answer, just the way that feels right in the mome...
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Moving: The Emotions of Leaving and Beginning Again

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I knew this move was going to be hard. Even when you know you’re making the right decision for your family, even when the opportunity is good, even when you choose the change—leaving behind a life you spent 12 years building is never easy. Pittsburgh wasn’t just where we lived. It was home. It’s where Nathan and I built our family, where we watched our babies grow, where we built friendships that felt more like family. It’s where we had our routines—the same grocery store, the same neighbors waving as we walked Willa, the same coffee shop where they knew my order before I even said it. It’s where we felt known. Leaving all of that behind was heartbreaking. It wasn’t just packing up a house. It was leaving behind years of memories, a community we loved, and a life that felt safe and familiar. But even in the midst of the grief, I knew this move wasn’t just about leaving. It was about stepping into something new. Helping the Kids Through the Transition I think one of the hardest parts o...
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Goodbye 2024, Hello 2025: Reflecting on a Year of Connection and Looking Ahead to What’s New

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As the first morning of 2025 greets me, I find myself in that reflective space the New Year always brings. There’s a quiet stillness in this moment, a chance to look back on 2024 and honor all the ways it shaped me—both the hard days that stretched my heart and the moments of connection that filled it. A Year of Healing and Sharing When I think of 2024, my mind immediately goes to Healing Hearts Podcast . It was a year of growth for the podcast, not just in episodes or listeners but in depth and purpose. This season brought stories that were raw, brave, and deeply personal. Each guest allowed us to step into their journey—stories of love, unimaginable loss, resilience, and hope. There were moments behind the mic this year that left a deep mark on my heart—Rachel’s story of navigating pregnancy after loss, Irma’s passion for teaching children about grief, and Lolo’s dedication to creating healing spaces for women all spoke to the resilience of the human spirit. Tori’s story of losing...
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Navigating the Holidays While Grieving: Finding Peace Amidst the Pain

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As the holiday season approaches, many of us are swept up in the familiar hustle and bustle. But for those grieving, this season can be one of the most challenging times of the year. It’s a time when losses feel heightened, the empty chairs at the table more glaring, and the absence of loved ones more painful.  After a chaotic few months filled with transitions and the constant focus on my family, I feel the weight of the approaching holidays. And, truthfully, the holidays can be tough for anyone who’s grieving. After Alivia passed, the first Christmas felt unbearable. It should have been spent celebrating with our sweet 5-month-old baby girl, but instead, I was questioning the point of celebrating anything at all. My heart was heavy with anger and sadness, and I wanted nothing more than to avoid the season entirely. Watching family and friends delight in holiday music, gift-giving, and festive gatherings, I felt like the world was moving forward without me, leaving me trapped in s...
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