How Many Children Do You Have?
This simple question has always carried so much weight for me. It’s a question that most parents answer easily, without hesitation. But for those of us who have lost a child, it’s never quite that simple. The first time I was asked, it was shortly after Alivia was born and died. In that moment, grief and fear collided, and I denied her existence. I told the person asking that I had no children. The second those words left my mouth, my heart shattered. I returned to my car and sobbed, feeling like I had failed my sweet girl. That day, I made a vow—I would never deny Alivia again. She is my daughter. She made me a mother. Over the years, answering this question has become easier, though I’ve learned to navigate it differently depending on who is asking and the situation I am in. Some people can hold space for grief, while others are unsure how to respond. Sometimes, I share openly. Other times, I keep it brief. There’s no perfect way to answer, just the way that feels right in the mome...
