Loss and the Light of Rainbow Babies:

Today, on National Rainbow Baby Day, I find myself reflecting on the complex and emotional journey that has brought me to this moment. This day holds a deep significance for me, as it’s a time to honor both the children I’ve lost and the ones who came after, bringing light into my life. It’s a journey marked by profound grief and unexpected joy, and it’s one that I carry with me every single day.

There was a time when my world was enveloped in darkness, a time when the pain of loss seemed too great to bear. Losing a child is a grief that defies description. It’s the kind of pain that lingers in the background, always present, always heavy. I remember the emptiness that followed, how each day felt like an endless struggle to simply keep going. The weight of that loss was overwhelming, and I often wondered if I would ever find joy again.

Zoe

Every day was a reminder of what could have been. The moments that should have been filled with laughter were instead filled with silence. The dreams I had for the future felt shat
tered, and I found myself grappling with a sadness so de
ep that it felt like it would never lift.

Then, something I never expected happened—my rainbow babies arrived. They didn’t erase the pain or fill the void left by the children I lost, but they brought a new kind of light into my life. Their arrival was like a balm for my wounded heart, a reminder that even after the darkest storms, the sun can shine again.

Grayson

 The first time I held my rainbow baby, I was overwhelmed by a surge of love   and joy. But it was a joy that was intertwined with grief. Parenting a rainbow   baby is a journey of contradictions. There’s the overwhelming love you feel for   this new life, and yet there’s also the constant presence of the ones who came   before. It’s a delicate balance of celebrating the present while honoring the past.

 As my rainbow babies have grown, I’ve come to understand
 that love and loss are forever intertwined. I see traces of the children I lost in   the eyes of the ones I hold now. Their presence in my life is a constant   reminder of the resilience of the human heart, of the capacity we have to find   beauty even in the midst of pain.

Logan 

But I never forget the ones who couldn’t stay. Their absence is a part of me, woven into the fabric of my life. It’s felt in every milestone my rainbow babies reach, in every family moment that feels both complete and incomplete at the same time. The love I have for my rainbow babies is immense, but so is the love I hold for the ones who are no longer here.

National Rainbow Baby Day is a day of mixed emotions for me. It’s a day to celebrate the joy that my rainbow babies bring into my life, but it’s also a day to remember the heartache that preceded their arrival. It’s a reminder that life is full of both sorrow and beauty, and that the two often exist side by side.

My journey through loss and love has shaped who I am today. It’s taught me the importance of honoring both the storm and the rainbow, of acknowledging the pain while also embracing the joy. My rainbow babies are a testament to the fact that even after the darkest nights, there can be light.

So today, I hold space for both the grief and the gratitude, the love and the loss. And I find comfort in knowing that I am not alone in this journey, that there are others who walk this path with me, each of us carrying our own stories of loss and love, and the beautiful rainbows that followed.